Captain of my life

Most of the time, will be thinking, am i too greedy? As most of the people, i always think that i'm asking a lot from the LORD.

Being a captain in a Brigade, it's much more harder that i think it is. Before taking the post, actually i've ask many people around. Some said Yes, some said No, but most of them ask me to pray about that. After taking up the post, i can't be the one that i want to be anymore.


As a captain in a company, i know that i can't be naive, i can't be frens with my girls anymore, i can't simply say "i don't want to do......" anymore, put it this way, i can't do what i like and what i want. As a captain, i know my resposibility in the company. As a captain, whatever decision i make will affect the whole company. As a captain, i need to be strong and be bold. Even there are times i'm weak, even there are times i felt discouraged, and many times i felt fear of being a captain in a company.


But, aft all, i know my purpose in the Brigade. From the day i step back to the brigade, i know the LORD wants me to be there. When the time i'm fear, HE told be to be strong and be bold through the support from my fellow officers. When the time i'm weak and discourage, He told me to be bold and be courage through my girls. Although most of the time i can't do what i wants, but the LORD show me what He wants from me. As a captain in the brigade, i have to take up the cross and walk with HIM. My cross might be small, but it's the cross that HE wants me to carry. My cross might not as heavy as HIS cross, but i know HE is the one that design it for me.


I still remember when i was a girl in the bridage, i used to post a artical on the notice board, and the title of the artical is : Cross In My Pocket. I can't recalled the whole artical, but i remember a sentence, it write like this: when everytime i have a problem, i will put my hand in my pocket, and i know that the LORD is with me. This verse reminds me everytime i'm in trouble. Some times when i in a difficult time, the LORD reminds me, HE is with me.


Although become a captain in the brigade is not easy, but i will never give up, coz after all, i get to know Christ through Brigade, and i know that i've been called to serve in this ministry. As i'm the captain in the Brigade, the LORD will be the Captain in my life!